Canterbury+Tales

** Here bygynneth the Book of the Tales of Caunterbury **
(The Final Wikipage Project)

As of June 10th, this page is no longer open to editing. If you did not submit it prior to June 10th, you will get a zero for the assignment. Thank you, Gillespie

--S.B., S.B., PK. Period 8 One late August day Three freshmen set out on their way. Heading west on interstate-80, The tension in the vans is quite weighty. Halfway there traffic increases And one driver reaches down for a Reese’s. Suddenly there is a crash And then there is a smash All three cars empty out. After the drivers meet, there are shouts.
 * 1. The Journey to Penn State **

Paint covers the smock, she always seems to wear Also, changing even the color of her hair. She is excited to graduate and head off to a place With the chance of sketching a beautiful male face. Her boyfriend heads off to PITT instead The brooding pig doesn't have room for girlfriend. College gives her the chance to start anew, Making oil paintings she never thought she could do. Yes, Penn State's a surrounding she desperately desires She will no longer be controlled by the ex-boyfriend, the liar

Walking into Calculus II He knows exactly what to do. No equation he cannot derive And that’s how they survive. He tapes his glasses at his nose And has never given a girl a pretty rose. His favorite out of 5 is TI-89. Never stop deriving, always been benign. Entering Calculus, he’s gonna be the best And finally he leaves his parent’s secure nest.

The turf grass major looks spry and tan From the variety of sports he has watched as a fan. He smells of plastic, synthetic green grass. He spits and speaks words that are crass. He grew up watching sports galore And became tragically obsessed with the green floor. He feels he is better than his landscaping friends For the fields he studies are easy to mend. Yet studying tuft grass is no derring-do And the job opportunities are lacking and few.

2. Gillespie’s Angels --Dena L, Hee Jin S., and Brandon M., Period 8

In the land of English, three angels flew United by Gillespie, their knowledge grew. Exalted and praised, he was the best, Master of English and best dressed.

Then one day, from down the hall, Came the creature, who wasn’t very tall. With an evil laugh and crooked glasses, Mr. Lipshitz scared Gillespie and his classes.

There sat Gillespie wondering, “What should I do?”, His students knew that his patience was through. Nevertheless, G-pie should have no fear, He has Heejin, Dena, and Brandon for students this year.

Loved and cherished, was little Heejin, She was so beautiful it was a sin. As the battle was about to begin, She possessed confidence and knew she could win.

Daring and bold, was little Dena, More powerful was she than Athena. A master of geography, she knew the capital of Argentina, She was stronger than a bear and faster than a cheetah.

Last but not least came the herculean Brandon, Of Russian descent, not Puerto Rican or Ugandan. He would stick with his friends, not run or abandon, The severity of the situation, he was definitely understandin’,

So all three students decided to join forces, After eating dessert and three main courses.

With sharp books and Gillespie’s teachings, They challenge Lipshitz to a word preaching. Vergil, Candide, Shakespeare, and Dickens, All of these men made Lipshitz chicken.

He couldn’t compete, and gave up like that, He ran away like a little mole rat. We saved the day, yippy hooray! The angels, trying not to be a cliché’

Alyssa J. &Lauren M. and Brenda F. (Also in group Jenae M. & Catherine M.)
 * 3. All Roads Lead to Waffle House**

No one can predict this journey called life, Full of merchants and millers and unfaithful wives. As we travel from one place to another, We learn to love and accept each other. In the stories I will now tell you, Exists some characters you'll feel like you know. They make some mistakes and feel pretty awful, Leading them to gobble down a delicious waffle. The coincidences here may seem too magical, But as we all know, life is unpredictable.

Once upon a Nashville pageant night, Was the fair Emily: beautiful, but not so bright. She worked her swimsuit and had the whitest teeth, But winning that crown took more than "world peace." She lost the tiara to some wannabe from Memphis, So she ran off the stage screaming out "screw this!" She walked down the street in her stiletto heels, Looking for a decent place to get a meal. She hadn't had anything since the day before, And she felt like she was ready to collapse on the floor. So desperate for food, she found a shady place, Full of French toast, waffles, and cheap pancakes. She ate like a pig and got syrup on her blouse, And that's how a pageant girl ends up at Waffle House. His story begins in New York And he was everything but a dork. Everyone knew he was the man And the ladies were his number one fans. So one night he met this chick Who was not impressed by his…thingamajig. He liked her a lot and was tryna smash But she thought he was an ugly piece of trash. So when this chick and her friends decided to leave He left the bar and grabbed his keys. They were all headed down to Nashville And he followed them on his own will. But he took a wrong turn and continued heading south Which led him to end at the Waffle House.

The world knows me as Hannah, but my real name is Miley, I live the best of both worlds, and Moms think of me highly. The demands of being famous can get kind of much, I've done a few things I wouldn't say were too clutch. Put aside my racy pictures and huge mouth, The real story lies in a concert, that just happened here south. I took the stage a little after nine, But soon after that things got way out of line. Nashville fans don't know how to act, My bruises can prove it, I ended up smacked. All because I wouldn't let a young girl wear my wig, But I'm sorry she didn't have my bone structure and she looked like a pig. Long story short, her parents beat me on stage, You will surely read the details of this tomorrow, front page. After a very crazy struggle, security helped me flee, They took me to this waffle house off Route 33. I told them I wasn't hungry and this place was hardly sublime, They responded, "Deal, young lady, it's all about the climb!"

Now here comes our northern black family travelling through the south Simply looking for something to shove in to their mouths Daddy had said that the North’s just too cold And mother wanted to see new sights before she got old They’re not worried about racists cuz dad’s big and scary and black And mom’s been through too much to care about that And the kids are happily ignorant and don’t care just yet Dad and mom can protect them from every racist threat So they pack up the van and stuff and the kids Throwing in some snacks and Disney vids and set off on their honorable and noble quest To end up in Nashville, seeing the south at its best They drive through Lynchburg Virginia (who names these places?!) Happily ignoring the glares on the rednecks faces They see flying on pickup trucks confederate flags Thinking with amusement “what sad little…hags” But soon these brave travelers in a hostile terrain Find themselves looking for a someplace to help with their hunger pain So they search and they look as they ride and they roll The antagonism of the south having taken its toll When they spy in the distance a dirty yellow sign With big black letters and a little shack behind “Waffle House” they exclaim “why this place is a dump” But we’re so hungry right now we could eat tree stumps!” So they drive up and roll in to the dank little place And despite the hostility on every truck driver’s face They sit down and settle and order some food But the waitress that comes is surly and rude Mom says “lady work my nerves one more time And see that I don’t land my foot in your behind!” So the lady brings the waffles and everything’s good This family doesn’t care about the hicks as long as there’s food. Next on the journey was a Wall Street banker man With a suit, phony smile, and perfect gold tan. One day he got hungry and just quit his job To search the country for chicken and corn on the cob. He thought about what would most satisfy his mouth, And he decided he needed to head to the south. His younger wife didn't mind because from what we can tell, The gardener kept her close company as well.

He started his walk but before he could arrive, A truck pulled up with Amy Winehouse and her beehive. "Where ya going?" she yelled as she lit up a joint. "If its rehab, let me tell you there's really no point." "Well no, I'm depressed," said the ex Banker guy. "Nobody likes me as hard as I try."

"My wife is getting some from eight other people, Last week I caught her in the local church steeple. I'm a bit overweight and I'm not very bright, And I don't look anything like that kid from Twilight. But food is my comfort; you could say I'm a pig-" "What about vodka?" yelled Amy. "Would you like a swig?

"No thank you," he answered, "I must be on my way, But I wish you the very best of non-sober days." "Thank you," said Amy, "but here's advice on something, Your problem is depression, so you need to sing." "Could you teach me?" asked the man, "though I would rather rap." "Do what you want," she said, "but cut out the crap."

"Stop saying "rather" and talking like a king, And let's get you some ice and a huge pinky ring. Now let's dye your hair and your skin a bit too, and ugh let's get you a totally different shoe." "Do you think I can really rap?" the banker said. "Well if you can't," muttered Amy, "you'll be shot dead. But this job should help you ease all of you pain, From this moment on, I dub you Lil' Wayne."

**4. A Disney Wedding**
Julia Tate, Priya Patel, and Deb Choi (also in group Isabel Garcia)

They were all on a voyage to an aquatic wedding, With their trunks in their bags, for there they would be treading. Hosted by King Titan, with guests from sea and land, Princess Ariel and Prince Eric would take each other’s hand. Nemo, the fish, and Pirate Jack Sparrow were on their way, With Princess Belle and Robot Wall¬e to celebrate the special day. With lots of time to spare while travelling without a worry, Each character took a turn in telling his or her life story.

They call him Nemo, the explorer with the weak fin. Against his dads wishes towards the boat he did swim. They reside in the deep blue sea in an orange anemone. After his brother and sisters were eaten it was just his dad and he. His dad’s cautious nature was very influential. Not until they were separated did he realize his full potential. Escape attempts from the fish tank taught him to be strong. Nemo could break them out and his friends helped him along. This wedding reminds him of a new beginning. But in the meanwhile, we’ll just keep swimming. (J.T.)

Stumbling along came the pirate, Jack Sparrow. Shifty and unreliable was this whimsical fellow. Finding treasure was his passion, and he always carried rum, But seeking ladies at the party was his reason to have come. Around his neck hangs a compass, pointing towards his heart’s desire, But following the arrow had consequences that were dire. Little did he think before pursuing a sudden impulse. The trouble he created fueled the townspeople’s insults. There wasn’t a single shaken town that had not heard, Of the impossible-to-capture and selfish drunkard. (P.P)

Designed to compact trash and make more space, Wall ¬  e the robot was the last of its race. Created from metal and multiple screws, He scoured the wastelands, looking for a muse. He worked without pause, throughout the long day, Longing for the one with whom he would play. Fortunately, for long he would not have to wait, For a white goddess would soon be his mate. Arriving to earth in search of a green treasure, Eva with Wall ¬  e was plunged into a great adventure. (D.C)

Finally among the other travelers was Belle A Princess indeed, one could clearly tell. Bright brown eyes, golden brown hair, nose always in a book; No matter where Belle went, people would stop and look. She was quiet, calm, and pleasant, you see, But if she did not have her books it was not a pretty scene. Upon being captured by a beast seemingly of evil She thought her book-lacking brain would loose all its diesel. Once she tamed the beast and put him in a calmer state of mind, He learned to read with Belle and does so all the time. (I.G.)

The Bad-Ass Saga

The Destined Meeting

**The Yellow Submarine**
By: Emily Simon, Tom Richards, and Joelle Varner

Once upon a time, in a far-off land--er, sea-- Was a quaint little sub with a stripper party, Gold like the fleece that near-caused Jason's demise. Our band will journey and watch the sun thrice arise Before they reach our humble aquatic abode And let sleep the twelve mermen upon which they rode. First was a parrot--but with fins and not wings Who banters and prattles but... but... never sings! And then was DCW! with coal boots and arms To determine the density of the deep mine with alarms Of canaries, colored like the ship which she boards To join the remainder of our fast-approaching hoards.

(...Tom's Section...)

Along on the journey is the lamplighter, too, The Little Prince's friend who needs something to do. All day and all night, he puts out and relights Those lamps, but he wants something more tonight. He wants to meet a girl, for the only Person he's met is the Price. He is lonely, Looking for some excitement. The lamplighter Is hoping for a beauty and a nice all-nighter... Unaware of who will become his queen, The lamplighter boards the yellow submarine.

And we all know those AP graders who cause so much stress. Well, one of them came after grading the tests. She needed to loosen up, needed some pleasure. On this underwater voyage, she came seeking a treasure-- Someone who was worthy of "scoring a five," Someone who would make her finally feel alive. After days of deciphering essays in lead, She wanted a guy who would please her in bed. This AP grader had high expectations That she'd find someone to quell her sensations.

--JH, LB, AH, MC, MW, p.1
 * Journey to the Teacher's Lounge**

As the sixteenth day of June drew close The seniors became less and less verbose. When Mr. Gillespie assigned them a tale They began in sheer pain to wail. Instead an alternate assignment they concocted And out of writing a Canterbury Tale they opted. For the Teachers’ Lounge they set off To a sausage-fest at which the teachers would scoff. A motley crew were the travelers in the group Who set off to enjoy some grilled cheese and tomato soup. There was an ice cream man who called himself Jose And to certain kids, free ice cream he gave away. Like Hyun Sung, Yoseph, and Megan the creep Who all, at some point, did into the truck peep. And so while poor G. Pie’s class in agony sat Writing in drudgery, their energy gone flat. A Clarinetist, a creep, a pedophile, and a dude Set off to avoid an assignment so rude.

A stalker by day and a creep by night The lone female on this trip was Megan Wright With her long red hair and sultry look You would never think her a stalker, until you read her book The thing about Megan you do not yet know The trip she is on, well, she was not invited to go She follows the men through the halls Until her clumsy self trips over her feet and falls Each man turned around to see what was there But all they could see were some strands of red hair For Megan at least, she was not caught But her stalking is not over like you may have thought To the lounge of teachers she creeps and crawls Be wary and cautious because you just may see her one day, coming out of your bathroom stalls

Another traveler was Harry Clark. He played the clarinet more sweetly than a lark. Once when the group began to bicker Then Harry played and fight words turned to snicker. He worked in close conjunction with the ice cream man, A quiet tune would lure a girl towards their van. She’d hear the notes come pouring through the air And like a zombie, enter without care. And thus was Harry Clark an asset to the gang Because his clarinet so sweetly sang.

On this journey was a man named Jose He was apparently a pedophile and flamboyantly gay. He made friends with Harry, who played the clarinet and luckily for Jose he had no need to fret. Harry played his sweet music to attract young boys while Jose offered them ice cream and candy and toys. They were on their way to the teacher's lounge when they heard a strange sound The man Harry thought was a friend was actually wanted and now found. So unfortunately for Harry and the pedophile named Jose They were wanted, convicted, and went to jail in the same day.

Once upon a time There was a feline who could rhyme. He wore a hat and hailed from ‘ole Mexico, This stylish Mexican Cat sporting a grande sombrero. He went looking one fine day For a magical place so very far away In a wardrobe as it were, Where he could play all day, for sure. In this wardrobe he thought ‘twas so That he would find Narnia, where he could go
 * Canterbury Tales, Part Deux: On the Road to Narnia**

An ambitious flea joined him on his quest By hanging from his chest. “Slow down, señor!” he said When the feline ran ahead. In his best Mexican he said, “No! Towards Narnia we must go!” Hanging on for his dear life Hunger stabbed him like a knife. Said the flea, “Let’s get a burrito!” Replied the Cat, “Señor, sorry-to…”

And they both caught a glimpse just then Of an Asian munching burritos in the den. Jason his name, or was it Bunburry? Archibald….Toabias….Arthur or Milo? Spying the Mexican feline, he nodded and said “Herro!” The flea watched with jealousy, failing his hunger to qualm, Fixated on Jason just eating, nom nom nom. Jason saw the sad flea, then gave him some food, Overcome with joy and thankfulness, the flea exclaimed, “You’re a pretty cool dude.” “Senor, come with us, an Adventure! Por que?” “Oh-meh-gah! Adventure?!?” thus, the trio went on its way. To the wardrobe they came, seeking fun, fortune, fame The surprise that lay in store for them, however, would bring only disappointment and shame.

Into the wardrobe, the three rushed and raced, As if after them a demon chased. They ran through the portal through the dark and the gloom And found to their horror that they were in a classroom. Inside was a teacher, his humor somewhat crass, He gave them a writing assignment and the cat said, “Profesor is an… idioto.* So these poor three travelers were forced to sit And write stories for this cruel and unusual git. It seemed for eternity that these fellows were stuck under his control, Forced to write stories, papers, take quizzes, it was all quite droll, When finally Jason and company realized he was a senior and could be free, He exclaimed, “Yo, PEACE OUT, Mr. Gill-es-pie!”

--JY, CY, WP, TS, p. 1


 * Graduation** (period 8 TM, AO, CF, SI)

Weeks of essays hours of tears and every day he ran out to the mailbox in fear that the high level educational academy that he desired most would regret to say that they were unable to host his immense achievements and imagination as a result of his years of neglecting high school education. And when the rejection in a small envelope came, he hardly wanted to continue this game. Now his acceptance to other schools seems dour. For without his top choice college he feels without power. Instead of excitement and anticipation he feels nothing but gloom looking forward to a college life filled only with doom.

**The Road to Nowhere**
-Nissel

Pack your bags and load the car To travel some place very far Rip the battery out of your cellular phone No need for talking where you’re goin’ Money for gas but none for tolls Avoid the highway’s cluttered soul And let the back roads lead you there As you travel down the road to nowhere

Two hands on the wheel, two eyes on the road Drift farther from your old abode And there you’ll leave yourself behind In the place where problems go to die Cut up your credit cards and burn your debt Dispose until there’s nothing left Because in the land of nowhere there is only self Free from poverty and wealth

Feel free to speed down winding curves There are no police there to observe Because in nowhere, there is only you And not one soul will have a clue So leave a note, but don’t disclose The place of where your soul now goes Just hurry up, no time to spare As you travel down the road to nowhere.